And that’s what we know of – because it’s not something that mums are freely talking about. There is so much fear of judgement, shame and even thinking you might lose your child if you speak out!

I really struggled after my 3rd but what made it more difficult was the fear that people won’t understand, the guilt and feeling like a terrible mum. I started questioning myself and even convinced myself it was all in my head…

Well…it was but it didn’t make it any less REAL!

I think the worst fear of mine was putting a label on it. Being a part of the BAME & Muslim community where the conversation around mental health is pretty much non-existent didn’t help either. I didn’t want to face reality until I had no choice and it started affecting my physical health.

I know now that if I had reached out sooner, it wouldn’t have got so bad…but in a way, I see it as a blessing because it’s motivated me to help other mums. It’s helped me to speak out and give the support mums need that isn’t normally given by the NHS. Without my own challenges and journey, I don’t think I wouldn’t have started my journey as a doula & antenatal/hypnobirthing teacher or decided to focus on maternal mental health through my counsellor training. 

It’s made me SOOO passionate and determined to make change. So for that, I’m grateful!

The other thing that was thinking was…

You don’t have to be diagnosed with a mental health condition to need support. Anxiety and low mood can affect us all through changes in our life, including pregnancy and birth. We were never meant to bring up our children alone, we were never meant to be so isolated, and now that we are – it means we need to get the support from somewhere else that we would previously have gotten from our community, our village.

I just want to say…